Knowing Why.

With a powerful enough why, we can endure any how.

 

I’m paraphrasing Victor Frankl, who lived through the horrors of Nazi concentration camps, writing about his experience in Man’s Search for Meaning – a must read, in my opinion.

 

Action-taking must be built on top of a sufficiently powerful drive.

 

When starting out as a personal trainer, I felt incredibly insecure giving myself ‘endurance training’ as a speciality, with only a handful of half marathons under my belt. Now sure, I am deeply curious about the outliers, about the people that achieve extraordinary, almost impossible feats of endurance. But do I have the knowledge to help people?

 

This insecurity drove me further, grinding out k’s and k’s. I entered Geelong 70.3 in Feb of 2016, at the time as a stepping stone onto a full 140.6 mile Ironman triathlon.

 

The 12-weeks up to Geelong were obsessive. I was at uni, finding time was never an issue. 3x swims, 6-to-12 hours cycling, 2x runs plus an over-the-top strength training program.

 

I was fit, don’t get me wrong. Probably the fittest I’ve ever been, in the context of doing the same things over and over for a long period of time.

 

Finally filling this role as an ‘endurance athlete,’ I felt legitimised. Being extreme gave me a sense of expertise.

 

Why?

 

Insecurity. Feeling uncertain about my self worth as a trainer, athlete, friend and person.  I believe the “more, more, more” mentality did not fill the hole of self-doubt, rather it fanned the fire.

 

On completion, 2-3 days of bragging rights felt pretty good. But overall, naturally I was disappointed. I hadn’t become a superhero rockstar triathlete. I was still Marty.

 

Rightly so.

 

Using sport or endurance or events to fill a hole in self-worth and in creating my own image was doomed to fail from go. Coming at finding myself from insecurity naturally disappoints.

 

It’s filling a hole that can only be filled internally.

 

 

 

Am I happy I did Geelong 70.3? Sure, I got to experience something not many people do. But the cost might have been too high..

 

 


Check out the book I recommended here:

 

 

 

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