Knowing Why.

With a powerful enough why, we can endure any how.


I’m paraphrasing Victor Frankl, who lived through the horrors of Nazi concentration camps, writing about his experience in Man’s Search for Meaning – a must read, in my opinion.


Action-taking must be built on top of a sufficiently powerful drive.


When starting out as a personal trainer, I felt incredibly insecure giving myself ‘endurance training’ as a speciality, with only a handful of half marathons under my belt. Now sure, I am deeply curious about the outliers, about the people that achieve extraordinary, almost impossible feats of endurance. But do I have the knowledge to help people?


This insecurity drove me further, grinding out k’s and k’s. I entered Geelong 70.3 in Feb of 2016, at the time as a stepping stone onto a full 140.6 mile Ironman triathlon.


The 12-weeks up to Geelong were obsessive. I was at uni, finding time was never an issue. 3x swims, 6-to-12 hours cycling, 2x runs plus an over-the-top strength training program.


I was fit, don’t get me wrong. Probably the fittest I’ve ever been, in the context of doing the same things over and over for a long period of time.


Finally filling this role as an ‘endurance athlete,’ I felt legitimised. Being extreme gave me a sense of expertise.




Insecurity. Feeling uncertain about my self worth as a trainer, athlete, friend and person.  I believe the “more, more, more” mentality did not fill the hole of self-doubt, rather it fanned the fire.


On completion, 2-3 days of bragging rights felt pretty good. But overall, naturally I was disappointed. I hadn’t become a superhero rockstar triathlete. I was still Marty.


Rightly so.


Using sport or endurance or events to fill a hole in self-worth and in creating my own image was doomed to fail from go. Coming at finding myself from insecurity naturally disappoints.


It’s filling a hole that can only be filled internally.




Am I happy I did Geelong 70.3? Sure, I got to experience something not many people do. But the cost might have been too high..



Check out the book I recommended here:




“Everyone needs a website.”

Whether that is true or not, I cannot say. This blog will house a collection of my thoughts, musings and hopefully demonstrate an improvement of my writing skills as I undergo my Hero’s Journey.

Only time will tell.

I am honoured that anybody would take the time out of their day to read this, so this post will be pinned to the top to say to you, wherever you are, thank you.